"Firsts"

So it's been a little over a month and a half since Chris left. We've been able to talk almost everyday on Skype or g-chat. Technology is so great. What a blessing to be able to talk to someone you love that is far away; hear their voice and see their face. I can only imagine how much harder this would be if it were years ago when people only had letters.

I've just been taking it day by day and staying busy. Chris is having a much harder time connecting with people and is very bored. He truly has it a lot harder than I do. He is in a new place with a new job and new people. That's a lot of 'new' at one time, a lot of changes, it can't be easy. I try to remember and thank him for his service and for working hard for our little family of two. I so appreciate my wonderful hubby. Thanks Chris! and I miss you. Can't wait til you can work hard and ALSO be near. A month and a half down, only... well that doesn't matter. :)

So the title of this blog has a purpose. I was having a weekend full of 'firsts' this past weekend and I'm not going to lie, it was hard. By 'firsts' I mean that I did several things that I would normally do with Chris but I did them alone for the first time. The first time of doing them alone is always the hardest and then it's usually not so bad the times after that. For example, I went to the Ballroom Dance Center with a friend on Friday night. The BDC was a place Chris and I went several times for date nights. We (especially I) like to dance and learn to dance. At the beginning of the night they have a 30 minute lesson on a basic step for a specific dance. They have the girls line up on one side and the guys on the other. So that night, when I went without Chris for the first time, I felt very sad when I looked across the dance floor and didn't see my man looking back at me (usually giving me a goofy, playful smile). Of course I had a good time dancing and learning from the instructors but it was certainly bittersweet at first. Dancing with others can be fun and is a good way to learn but dancing with Chris (although there have been arguments) is always my favorite :). Other 'firsts' included hanging out with our group of friends from church at the Match Day party and hanging out with my brother and sister-in-law (Chris's brother always reminds me so much of Chris because they both love to joke around and do so in a similar way)

So anyway, I know I have many more 'firsts' to get through but it's ok, it's getting a little easier as Chris and I settle into a routine. It'll never be easy though and there's not a day or night that goes by that I don't wish I could give my baby a hug.

I have some scripture that I actually have hanging in my shower (I know weird, but it's a good time to do some memorizing). One of my favorites right now is Isaiah 26:3-4:

"You will keep in perfect peace
those whose minds are steadfast,
because they trust in you.

Trust in the LORD forever,
for the LORD, the LORD himself, is the Rock eternal."

I am trusting in the Rock eternal. This is hard but it's good.

Peace to you

Always,

Shannon

Lets give it a try again :)

Hey there again,

So I think I may give this another go. A dear friend of mine was visiting last weekend and we love looking at blogs. Turns out we each have our own blog but we rarely ever post anything on them anymore (more like never for me), so we challenged each other to start it up again. So, dear friend, and you know who you are... now you have to make a post too :P

My life is quite different now from the last time I posted. Not drastically really but it sure seems like it, and such is life, I know. I have been married to a wonderful man now for almost 2 years. We have lived, worked, and played in Augusta, GA for those two years. It's been very fun and very challenging. It took a minute but I can now call this home. My favorite part of Augusta is definitely the church, First Presbyterian, and the wonderful group of friends that Chris and I have become a part of through this church. One of the hardest parts of leaving Valdosta was leaving my church family (I still miss them greatly) and I craved something similar when I moved up here. It took time but God, as always, is faithful and provided a new family :) It's fun.

Soooo biggest news right now is that Chris (my sweet hubby) is in South Korea for a year. He was re-assigned and stationed at Camp Casey in Korea. He will actually be there for longer than a year :(. This is, of course, not what was on our top 10 list of things to do in our first years of marriage. In fact it's pretty disappointing that we specifically wanted to wait a couple years to have kids in order to spend those years TOGETHER. I don't know why I keep planning out my future as if I have it all under control...

Anyhow, Chris left Feb. 7th and I have just been taking it a day at a time. I am now a part time nanny living on the property of the people I nanny for in a cottage behind their (BIG) house. It's a cute, comfy place and they are a wonderful family. I have enjoyed the job so far. I certainly didn't see myself doing something like nannying but it's what the Lord has for me apparently. I am safe and near a family and near some other girls that live in a carriage house right next to me. It'll be a good way to stay safe and not feel so lonely. I'm also still working as an SLP in the mornings with the RCSS. I am at new schools though. That has been difficult surprisingly. I thought it would be better to switch to a different school (the one I was at before was SO transient I could barely do therapy and was always in meetings) but it has been kind of hard. I'm really thinking I want to try something different than the school system; we'll see what happens with that.

Chris is doing ok. He has it harder than me seeing as he has nobody over there that he knows and it's a new job and new culture. I pray all the time that he will meet a godly man and find a good church. I miss him a lot. I especially miss hugs and kisses and cuddling at night and in the morning. We get to chat at least twice a day and usually even see each other (through skype) but it's just kind of hard not to be able to just sit next to him and feel his arms around me. After this I hope I never take it for granted. I better not!

So that's my life in a nutshell as of now. It's certainly one of the harder times but I'm sure not the hardest time yet to come. I am so grateful for the comfort, peace, and love I so often feel from the Lord when I am lonely, sad, or even bitter. I find it through His word; through the sweet people He has placed in my life to serve me, love me, and speak truth and comfort to me; every now and then through a song; or sometimes just on a pretty day when I remember that the sun came up, like it always does, and the moon will come out at night, like it always does; a reminder that God is faithful and good.

Psalm 100:3

"For the Lord is good; His steadfast love endures forever, and His faithfulness to all generations."

Isaiah 42:5-6

"This is what God the LORD says—
the Creator of the heavens, who stretches them out,
who spreads out the earth with all that springs from it,
who gives breath to its people,
and life to those who walk on it:

“I, the LORD, have called you in righteousness;
I will take hold of your hand.
I will keep you and will make you
to be a covenant for the people
and a light for the Gentiles"

Peace and Grace to you.

Love

Shannon

What a Blessing!

Wow I am so inconsistent with this thing :) Oh well, better than nothing I guess. I really do hope to have more time soon. Once everything slows down a bit. I won't have school or a wedding to plan anymore so I assume it will slow down, but... I always say that and then get crazy busy somehow. I guess I just like to stay busy and always be doing something.
Anyhow, I was just talking with my Father. It had been a while since I done that too sadly :(. I didn't know what exactly to pray for so I just started by thanking Him for all that I could think of. I'm pretty sure I could never think of it all because there's just way too much, but I stopped when I realized and got very excited that I am getting married very soon! I thanked God for providing me a wonderful, Godly man to spend the rest of my life with. I then thanked Him for just the blessing of a girlish dream coming true-getting married. I began thinking about my view on marriage and what I always wanted ever since I was young. I just wanted to be married to a wonderful, loving man and a "happily ever after" story. I realized all of a sudden how much God had spared me from, even when, at the time, I thought it was the best for me. I felt suddenly overwhelmed with gratitude. My eyes are opened and I see that Jesus is true life and happiness. God has given me the best thing that has ever happened to me. He has already saved me and adopted me and is now showering me with love and blessings. I'm so undeserved. What wonderful grace.

I love you my Lord, my God. I surrender all and invite You to use me for Your great and wonderful purposes. Please also use this marriage for the advancement of Your Kingdom and for Your glory. Thanks You for forgiveness, for redemption, for life, for freedom in You, and for Your righteousness freely given. I am always and will forever be amazed at your mighty and loving hand.

~Ephesians 1:3
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ."

My Testimony - for a certain person who wanted it on here. Here ya go. I heart you.

At age 7 I prayed with my mom and asked Jesus to come into my heart. I was raised in what I would call a christian home, always went to church, prayed before meals and bedtime, tried to do the right thing, and my mom listened to sermons and christian music in the car and on "clean the house day." When I was around 12 my parents left the methodist church we had always gone to and went to a non-denominational church. During my middle and beginning of high school years I went through stages of "being on fire for God" and would do quiet times, be involved in youth group, and go on retreats. When it came to living in the world I pretty much did, but didn't do the "big" sins like cussing, sex, drugs, talking bad about people (too much). As I look back I see that I mostly lived as a performance christian and didn't really understand why I was to not do certain things. In junior year of high school I started dating a guy and we dated for over 4 years. My parents stopped going to church around that time and so did I. Although I still thought of myself as a christian I was living more and more in the world. Soon my whole life revolved around this guy and how he could make me happy. I started working at Ruby Tuesday around the time I started college and I met an amazing person whom I will call J.J. :). J.J. and I became fast friends. We called each other our christian friend because the atmosphere at that restaurant was horrible with a lot of negative attitudes and language. But the thing about this christian friend was that she actually talked about God, whereas I didn't talk about God or talk about living for God even though I called myself a christian. It was very different for me and made me start to really think. Things began to change from there. I met a guy at Ruby's that was fun and broke up with my boyfriend to date him. It was good for me to get out of the current relationship but dating the other guy was a horrible decision. I also began my first real SLP classses and made some new friends that I would go out to the bars with. I had a group of friends from high school but when I broke up with my boyfriend from highshcool I lost all of them. My whole life was chaos and going down hill. But God was faithful. Throughout the chaos I became better and better friends with J.J. I went to church with her a little at WPC and I met her friends. My flesh and spirit were fighting each other during the time right after I broke up with Patrick and dated the other guy. I know they always are but this was a really big fight between me turning to the world for my satisfaction or turning to God for my satisfacgtion. This went on for about 6 to 7 months afterward. After the guy that I dated from Ruby Tuesday broke up with me I was devastated. I clung to J.J. and her group of friends. I went to church more often. I became curious about things and then began to crave more knowledge about Christ. For about a year a half after that I continued to grow and slowly (too slowly) turn away from the things I knew were wrong. I became involved at Westminster and in bible studies. Last year (2007) right before Thanksgiving something changed inside of me. Rather God changed my heart. He had been working on my heart for a long time but I guess He finally said "OK Shannon it's time you get serious" because although I had been going to church, getting in the word, fellowshiping with brothers and sisters, I had also continued to live in sin and tried to find satisfaction in guys, alcohol, friends, and doing good in school. M.H. is another amazing friend that God placed in my life and used to help trigger this desire in me. She and I started graduate school together and she also began coming to WPC, so we became friends and spent a lot of time together. Seeing how she always put God first even in schoolwork (and the first semester of graduate school was hard!) really had an impact on me. A couple days before thanksgiving I went to the park with D&A (also wonderful friends that I love dearly). It was a beautiful day and we laid on blankets and just read. I felt emotional and very stressed out about life. I began writing in my journal to God. I told Him I wanted to be His and didn't want to keep living the way I was. During that first semester of graduate school I was doing the school thing and working as a graduate assistant. I had no time for anything except school and work. That day in the park, I made the decision (and it was hard b/c I was giving up a lot of money) to not work anymore. I talked to A&D and told them my heart. I wanted to live for God and that was the day I got really serious about it. That was the day I surrendered all. That is also the day I met C.W. for the first time ever ;) God is so cool.

The hardest thing for me about sharing my testimony is that I don't know exactly when I became a christian. But always after sharing it, I am amazed at God's grace and what He brought me through. I know I am saved and not matter when it actually happened, it is a wonderful feeling to know that I am no longer dead in my sin but alive in Christ.

Thank you Father for choosing me.