Monday, March 21, 2011

"Firsts"

So it's been a little over a month and a half since Chris left. We've been able to talk almost everyday on Skype or g-chat. Technology is so great. What a blessing to be able to talk to someone you love that is far away; hear their voice and see their face. I can only imagine how much harder this would be if it were years ago when people only had letters.
I've just been taking it day by day and staying busy. Chris is having a much harder time connecting with people and is very bored. He truly has it a lot harder than I do. He is in a new place with a new job and new people. That's a lot of 'new' at one time, a lot of changes, it can't be easy. I try to remember and thank him for his service and for working hard for our little family of two. I so appreciate my wonderful hubby. Thanks Chris! and I miss you. Can't wait til you can work hard and ALSO be near. A month and a half down, only... well that doesn't matter. :)
So the title of this blog has a purpose. I was having a weekend full of 'firsts' this past weekend and I'm not going to lie, it was hard. By 'firsts' I mean that I did several things that I would normally do with Chris but I did them alone for the first time. The first time of doing them alone is always the hardest and then it's usually not so bad the times after that. For example, I went to the Ballroom Dance Center with a friend on Friday night. The BDC was a place Chris and I went several times for date nights. We (especially I) like to dance and learn to dance. At the beginning of the night they have a 30 minute lesson on a basic step for a specific dance. They have the girls line up on one side and the guys on the other. So that night, when I went without Chris for the first time, I felt very sad when I looked across the dance floor and didn't see my man looking back at me (usually giving me a goofy, playful smile). Of course I had a good time dancing and learning from the instructors but it was certainly bittersweet at first. Dancing with others can be fun and is a good way to learn but dancing with Chris (although there have been arguments) is always my favorite :). Other 'firsts' included hanging out with our group of friends from church at the Match Day party and hanging out with my brother and sister-in-law (Chris's brother always reminds me so much of Chris because they both love to joke around and do so in a similar way)
So anyway, I know I have many more 'firsts' to get through but it's ok, it's getting a little easier as Chris and I settle into a routine. It'll never be easy though and there's not a day or night that goes by that I don't wish I could give my baby a hug.
I have some scripture that I actually have hanging in my shower (I know weird, but it's a good time to do some memorizing). One of my favorites right now is Isaiah 26:3-4:

"You will keep in perfect peace
those whose minds are steadfast,
because they trust in you.
Trust in the LORD forever,
for the LORD, the LORD himself, is the Rock eternal."

I am trusting in the Rock eternal. This is hard but it's good.

Peace to you
Always,
Shannon