My Testimony - for a certain person who wanted it on here. Here ya go. I heart you.

At age 7 I prayed with my mom and asked Jesus to come into my heart. I was raised in what I would call a christian home, always went to church, prayed before meals and bedtime, tried to do the right thing, and my mom listened to sermons and christian music in the car and on "clean the house day." When I was around 12 my parents left the methodist church we had always gone to and went to a non-denominational church. During my middle and beginning of high school years I went through stages of "being on fire for God" and would do quiet times, be involved in youth group, and go on retreats. When it came to living in the world I pretty much did, but didn't do the "big" sins like cussing, sex, drugs, talking bad about people (too much). As I look back I see that I mostly lived as a performance christian and didn't really understand why I was to not do certain things. In junior year of high school I started dating a guy and we dated for over 4 years. My parents stopped going to church around that time and so did I. Although I still thought of myself as a christian I was living more and more in the world. Soon my whole life revolved around this guy and how he could make me happy. I started working at Ruby Tuesday around the time I started college and I met an amazing person whom I will call J.J. :). J.J. and I became fast friends. We called each other our christian friend because the atmosphere at that restaurant was horrible with a lot of negative attitudes and language. But the thing about this christian friend was that she actually talked about God, whereas I didn't talk about God or talk about living for God even though I called myself a christian. It was very different for me and made me start to really think. Things began to change from there. I met a guy at Ruby's that was fun and broke up with my boyfriend to date him. It was good for me to get out of the current relationship but dating the other guy was a horrible decision. I also began my first real SLP classses and made some new friends that I would go out to the bars with. I had a group of friends from high school but when I broke up with my boyfriend from highshcool I lost all of them. My whole life was chaos and going down hill. But God was faithful. Throughout the chaos I became better and better friends with J.J. I went to church with her a little at WPC and I met her friends. My flesh and spirit were fighting each other during the time right after I broke up with Patrick and dated the other guy. I know they always are but this was a really big fight between me turning to the world for my satisfaction or turning to God for my satisfacgtion. This went on for about 6 to 7 months afterward. After the guy that I dated from Ruby Tuesday broke up with me I was devastated. I clung to J.J. and her group of friends. I went to church more often. I became curious about things and then began to crave more knowledge about Christ. For about a year a half after that I continued to grow and slowly (too slowly) turn away from the things I knew were wrong. I became involved at Westminster and in bible studies. Last year (2007) right before Thanksgiving something changed inside of me. Rather God changed my heart. He had been working on my heart for a long time but I guess He finally said "OK Shannon it's time you get serious" because although I had been going to church, getting in the word, fellowshiping with brothers and sisters, I had also continued to live in sin and tried to find satisfaction in guys, alcohol, friends, and doing good in school. M.H. is another amazing friend that God placed in my life and used to help trigger this desire in me. She and I started graduate school together and she also began coming to WPC, so we became friends and spent a lot of time together. Seeing how she always put God first even in schoolwork (and the first semester of graduate school was hard!) really had an impact on me. A couple days before thanksgiving I went to the park with D&A (also wonderful friends that I love dearly). It was a beautiful day and we laid on blankets and just read. I felt emotional and very stressed out about life. I began writing in my journal to God. I told Him I wanted to be His and didn't want to keep living the way I was. During that first semester of graduate school I was doing the school thing and working as a graduate assistant. I had no time for anything except school and work. That day in the park, I made the decision (and it was hard b/c I was giving up a lot of money) to not work anymore. I talked to A&D and told them my heart. I wanted to live for God and that was the day I got really serious about it. That was the day I surrendered all. That is also the day I met C.W. for the first time ever ;) God is so cool.

The hardest thing for me about sharing my testimony is that I don't know exactly when I became a christian. But always after sharing it, I am amazed at God's grace and what He brought me through. I know I am saved and not matter when it actually happened, it is a wonderful feeling to know that I am no longer dead in my sin but alive in Christ.

Thank you Father for choosing me.

Because I know You love me

Today I am feeling a little blah. Not sure why... or maybe I do know why. I believe that I am feeling blah because I am counting on idols (boyfriend, friends, family, money, etc) to make me happy. Obviously it's not working. And I really do know that these things/people will never make me truly happy or satisfied, but I just sometimes forget and start looking to them. And then when they let me down I get in this funk. I was having a pity party this morning and all of a sudden just stopped and asked God to come and fill me. I then began to read some verses, write in my journal, and pray. It's so amazing how God loves me. He never left me, He was just waiting for me to find out on my own that things of this world won't satisfy and come back to Him. But what's really amazing is that He is ALWAYS there waiting. He will never leave nor forsake us, even when we leave Him.
I recently tried to help a friend in need by reading to her a part of the book "Evidence Not Seen." It is a part that I cried while reading the first time and cried again when reading it to her.
The part that I read was when she (Darlene Deibler) all of a sudden didn't feel the presence of God anymore. She became very distraught and begn searching her heart for any sin. She prayed and confessed her sins and prayed more. She then remembered Hebrews 11:1 "Faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen". She thinks to herself, "Eveidence not seen - that is what I put my trust in - not in feelings or moments of ecstasy, but in the unchanging Person of Jesus Christ."
On the radio a couple days after that I heard someone (not sure who) say that it is not because we feel it but because we know that truth.
God just spoke to me when I asked Him to help me feel His love and said, my child, I do love you and I have never stopped and will never stop. When you believe that, is when you will feel it.
I feel it :)
Our God is amazing.

When darkness veils His lovely face,

I rest on His unchanging grace;

In every high and stormy gale,

My anchor hold within the veil.

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;

All other ground is sinking sand,

All other ground is sinking sand.

I Am Free

I went to a different church today with my sister. It is a more contemporary church that has music and an atmosphere that attracts mostly young people. The music is probably the most contemporary thing about the church. They have a band with drums, electric guitars, and two singers. They also have a screen with the words on it at the front of the church. The music of course is great and so is having the words right in front of me (I like looking up instead of down). We sang a song this mornng by the Newsboys called "I am Free." I've heard the song before, on the radio I believe. I liked it a lot. It has a good beat, good words, and great meaning. But as I was singing I was looking around at the people worshiping along with me. I felt a sudden sadness for the ones (many I felt) that do not understand the true, wonderful meaning of the words of the song. One line especially "I am free to live for You" made me think this. I wondered how many people understood that we are not just free to live, but to live for God! Oh what an important concept. I feel God has been teaching me about freedom lately, and what it means to be free. It started with a conversation with a friend, and then I read about it in a bible study, then I heard it in a sermon at church, and today, not only did I have those thoughts during the song but I also read a blog of a friend that really had some good points about freedom in Christ.
I love how God knows that we learn best through experience and practice :)

I will quote Randy Pope from the bible study I am doing because I love how he worded it. "True Freedom is having the power to act in harmony with the truth. The freedom Jesus promises is freedom from our fallen selves, and the power to live according to His word."

Paul says in Galations 2:20

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

and then in 4:7

"So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir."

and then a wonderful verse 4:31-5:1

"Therefore, brothers, we are not children of the slave woman, but of the free woman. It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

As I read in a blog just now, that yoke of slavery is our attempts to "win God's favor" through works. Eph 2:8,9. BY GRACE YOU HAVE BEEN SAVED THROUGH FAITH...NOT OF WORKS! WOO HOO.

Father I pray that You will continue to remind me that I am free in You and that because You loved me enough to save me, and wash me white as snow, I do not have to work for Your affections but instead can joyfully follow Your wonderful law.

Rainy Day and Talking About God

Oh, I am loving this weather. It has been so hot and so long since it has rained. We really needed it. Also, I just felt like staying home tonight and reading, looking up stuff on the computer, and even posting a blog. Man, I try so hard to blog but I just never do. I think of something or sit down to type but I get distracted or... something I don't know. I'm not much of writer. It's just not my thing. So, I don't know. I don't have any great and wonderful thoughts right now. I just wanted to post something. I started looking up blogs to put on my google reader that pertain to speech pathology or special education, but I didn't find anything.

So, I moved on and looked at my online class on web CT. I've never done an online class but it doesn't seem like it will be too difficult so far. I did my first assignment which just involved writing a short introduction paragraph about myself. At the end of my paragraph I put "it is by the grace of God that I am where I am now" :) It doesn't seem to be a big deal but it is for me. Here's why; because I always use to, and still have a problem with shying away from saying the truth. If it deals with my faith and is different or unusual to people, then I feel awkward and just choose not to say it. It's a crazy and terrible thing, considering that my faith is the most important thing to me. It reveals the sin of people pleasing, idols, selfishness, and so many more.

Praise God, I have recently gotten better about this. I told you the example above and also when an interviewer asked me today why I chose that specific location, I truthfully said it was because of the church that I had heard great things about, and the body of believers I would get to be associated with. The Lord is working on me and showing me just how much more powerful and satisifying He is compared to the opinions of others. I would never deny knowing or hanging out with my best friend if someone asked or if it just came up in conversation. In fact I frequently bring her up in conversation myself, just because I am proud to talk about her or say that we did something together. Well... my God is my best friend, my father, my shepherd, my creator, my everything. I am proud of my God. But do the people that I communicate with regularly (or not even that regularly) know that? I pray that I will have the boldness and confidence in my God to be able to talk about Him the same way that I feel about Him.

I need a good verse. I will look for one and maybe add it later

So I am back (two or more weeks later :), but I found a great one. Romans 1:16. Now there's a verse to live by.

Short Blog

Yay blogging! So this is all very new to me. This will be a short blog with not much to it. I just want something on my profile :) I will soon blog about the names I chose and how wonderful God is. But for now I will simply say that I am a thirsty woman who is finally drinking of the Living Water. Praise Him!